Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize