why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
