You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
