I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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