Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
