that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
