She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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