Someone shit on the floor
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize