So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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