Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
