I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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