I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
