Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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