Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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