When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My feet surprised me
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