Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize