Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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