highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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