I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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