you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize