Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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