before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it was like eating out sand paper
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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