I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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