I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
