i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
