i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
