When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
