The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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