How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
