All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
as a side note pls kill me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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