I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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