Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
