i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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