You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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