LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
