So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
