at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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