Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
