You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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