so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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