How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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