Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
