Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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