I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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