i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
