If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
