This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
