For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
