I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
