It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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