I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
