They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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