Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
