I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
