Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
