I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
