he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
