Buhtt sex?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
