I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I AM VODKA MAN
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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