happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Who died my cat blue again?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
