Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
