Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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