a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
