What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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