My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
