Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
