chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
