In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
