So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
