Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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