Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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