And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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