I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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