K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
