but the lizard people decide everything anyway
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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